What’s your name?

Whether given or chosen, our names can have a profound impact on our lives and identities

 Credit: Pixabay

Many people go by chosen names or nicknames instead of their legal name. Sometimes parents call their children by one name, but friends or others use a different name. While people have to use their legal name on legal documents, many people use a variety of names and nicknames informally.

Our premier, who goes by Danielle Smith but whose legal name is Marlaina Danielle Smith, is bringing in a pronoun and name policy that requires parental consent for students aged 15 and under to use a different name or pronoun at school (and parental notification for students 16 and 17).

There is no shortage of important societal issues to be addressed — from homelessness, to inflation, to the drug poisoning epidemic — but our provincial government feels it's important to legislate the use of names and pronouns.

Why are names important for us?

Rusti L. Lehay

When my son was 10 and living with his dad, he uttered an ultimatum in a halting, teary voice that he couldn’t see me anymore unless I allowed him to change his name from Justin Rathe Doering to Clayten W. Fox. I had chosen his name with great care. I grieved a bit. Anger floated to the surface too at his dad, who encouraged this change after studying the Kabalarian philosophy. Based on what the vibration of the new name was going to attract, he chose characteristics for our son. I do not know whether or not he chose these characteristics altruistically.

Joshua Mira Goldberg

I was born in 1971. My parents named me Mira, from the Russian mir, or “peace.” Both the Russian context and the meaning of the word were important to my parents, who were peace activists. My dad fled to Canada as a Vietnam War resister, and my mom and her parents were involved in the campaign for nuclear disarmament. Our family includes some Russian ancestors who fled anti-Jewish pogroms, and my mom grew up with communist parents who survived McCarthyism, so I think choosing a Russian name felt rebellious in that way too. When I went through gender transition in 1997, it was important to me to keep my old name as a way of honouring my parents and the first 26 years of my life. But I also wanted a masculine first name so people would not call me “she.” Our names are so deeply personal, and I hope they will always be treated with respect.

Lillian Constance Brissenden

My official first and middle names are Lillian Constance. Named Lillian after my great-aunt Lil on my dad’s side. My mother thought aunt Lil might leave me some money when she died (she did not). The name Constance came from a character in a book my mom was reading at the time. I was Connie as a child; now, decidedly Constance. When I think of it, maybe I was destined to be a writer! My recommendation: Always call your child by the first official name and not the second name. It has created a lot of confusion for me over the years.

Victoria Stevens

There is power in a name. I have gone by many names over my life for various reasons. Dee is a family nickname; Victoria is my legal name, and Vickie was the nickname I chose to go by as a kid. A few names I go by: Maniac and Barb have a different beginning. I played roller derby for eight years. Most players choose a “derby name” they feel represents them. My chosen name was Barbicidal Maniac (I'm a hairstylist). The moment the roller skates went on, I became her. And she is powerful. As Barbicidal Maniac, I had the courage to face any fear I had. I found my voice and my strength, and I found myself. Even though I no longer play, I carry that strength with me. My best friend’s kids still call me Maniac and more than a few people from those days still call me Barb. Every time I hear them, I am reminded of the power that name gave and continues to give me to this day. The power in names is why I am so supportive of anyone who wants to change their name to something that they feel fits them best. No one should need permission to do so. 

Summer Lyons

I go by Summer, but it would appear that this changes with the seasons. Winter, Fall, Spring, I might as well have four names at this point. As for the story behind my name… Well, it has little to do with my date of birth. The real reason was because my mother apparently used it as her so-called ‘street name’ (with her friends being the other seasons). With that added context, it is not surprising to see why others may want to go by another name. Even though I am fine with this one, I’m sure other people have their reasons. 

Aydan Dunnigan-Vickruck

I got my name out of a closet. I had been looking for a new first name. My namesake was a pervert who had molested us. Not that my parents knew, of course, and I didn’t become aware of the offenses either until deep into therapy as an adult. A good reason for a name change. Back to the closet. I was discussing my dilemma with my wife Patricia. She muttered into her wardrobe, “I like Adrien.” I heard “Aidan” and thought, “Sounds good.” A little research after the fact supported my selective hearing. Aiden was the Celtic saint of social workers, whose claim to fame was the miraculous refill of a leaky keg of beer for his parched parishioners. All of those particulars fit me perfectly. So, with a spelling variant suggested by my numerologist, Aydan stuck. Soon after, Aidan with its various spellings became the most popular children’s name for several years. I only claim partial credit.